So you're in Vegas and you're discovering a side of Vegas the megaresorts wish would just go away: adult entertainment.

While we have no problem providing you with a guide to the best shimmies and shakes this side of San Andreas, we do want to implore upon you that prior to hopping in a cab and barking, "To the strip clubs!" you take the time to read -- and understand -- a few Rules O' The Game.

DRESS CODES:Some of the more upscale joints require shirts with collars -- and they must be tucked in. Others permit untucked shirts or T-shirts, but no shorts. The general rule is common sense; after all, you're going to be surrounded by beautiful women, so you should at least look the part. Come in looking like a bum and they'll give you the bum's rush.

DOOR CHARGES:The fact is that most strip clubs increase their door charge during convention season. Still, a large group of well-behaved and well-dressed patrons arriving together could conceivably quietly approach the doorman and bargain their way past this cover fee, especially if they arrive early (7-8 p.m.) and order drinks immediately.

HANDS OFF:Perhaps you've heard tales of wild and reckless abandon taking place in Las Vegas striptease clubs, or perhaps you've seen that travesty of truth, "Showgirls." Either way, understand this: These women are, no matter what it may seem like, working. Keep your hands to yourself and you'll avoid a kick in the groin or a bouncer's meaty shove. Leaving the grinding to the gals will result in a better lap dance anyway.

TIPPING:Hellooooo, anybody home who's not used to getting their mojo working on the Net? Unlike the digital kind, these gals work for tips and tips alone. That means this: (1) Don't go into a strip club with barely enough dough to cover a round of brew; (2) Don't look repeatedly at a dancer working her stuff without walking up and tipping her and (3) Do not, under any circumstances, sit at stageside seating without a pocketful of dollars. How much will you need for a night? If you are an average drinker, figure at least $30 per hour for a drink or two and stage tipping; lap dances go for $20 each, so add that on if you think you'll find the woman of your dreams (You will, so add it on now).

PROSTITUTION:100 percent illegal in Clark County. Don't solicit, suggest dinner or ask for a date; these women are dancers, not hookers.